DO NOT RENT FROM HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS!

BEFORE YOU SIGN THAT LEASE AT HARPERS 'SLUM' FOREST APARTMENTS - CONSIDER WHAT THE DEPARTMENT OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT AS WELL AS CURRENT AND FORMER TENANTS OF HOWARD COUNTY'S PREMIER GHETTO COMPLEX SAY ABOUT CONDITIONS HERE -

1. DISHWASHER INOPERABLE - MULTIPLE INSTANCES.
2. CABINETS FALLING OFF THE WALLS.
3. TUB AND FAUCETS NEED CAULKING IN BATHROOM - MULTIPLE
INSTANCES.
4. STOVE DIDN'T WORK AND WAS NEVER FIXED.
5. MICROWAVE BROKEN.
6. HOLE IN BATHROOM CEILING SHOWS SIGNS OF AN ACTIVE
WATER LEAK.
7. KITCHEN CABINETS DESTROYED FROM WATER DAMAGE.
8. WALL OVER KITCHEN SINK DAMAGED FROM WATER LEAKS.
9. REPLACE PLYWOOD WHICH NOW SERVES AS THE KITCHEN
FLOOR. HARPERS FOREST THOUGHT THAT MEANT TO REPLACE
IT WITH NEW PLYWOOD.
10. FAULTY ELECTRICAL WIRING.
11. AIR CONDITIONING BROKE FOR 3 WEEKS DURING SUMMER.
BY HARPERS FOREST OWN COMPANY POLICY - BROKEN AIR
CONDITIONERS ARE NOT AN EMERGENCY. WHOEVER MADE THAT
POLICY IS SUNNING HIMSELF AT HIS PRIVATE BEACH IN FT.
LAUDERDALE. FOR THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR - WEALTHY
DEMOCRATIC PARTY FUNDRAISER AND SLUMLORD OWNER OF
HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS, PHILIP RATCLIFFE, HAS AMONG
MANY OTHER ELEGANT PROPERTIES, HIS PRIVATE GETAWAY IN
FLORIDA.
12.SHOWER HEAD NEEDS REPLACING.
13. HOLES IN WALL BY LIVING ROOM WINDOW. IN THIS
PARTICULAR CASE - MAINTENANCE LEFT WALLS THAT WAY,
UNDONE, WHEN INSTALLING VERTICAL BLINDS.
14. HEAT DOESN'T WORK.
15.CRIME WAS SO BAD I WAS AFRAID TO GET OUT OF MY CAR.
16. KITCHEN COUNTER TOPS NEED REPLACING.
17. SAW MICE SEVERAL TIMES.
18. ONE TENANT HAS 8 POLICE REPORTS OF CRIMES COMMITTED
BY NEIGHBORS.
19. PROPERTY OWNERS IN THE SURROUNDING COMMUNITY SAY
THE DETERIORATING HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS IS
DRAGGING DOWN THEIR PROPERTY VALUES.
20. A FORMER MAINTENANCE SUPERVISOR TOLD ME PERSONALLY
THEY HAD BEEN SEALING UP SEWAGE LEAKS WITH DUCT TAPE!
YUCK!
THERE YOU HAVE IT APARTMENT SHOPPERS - THIS IS THE PROMISE OF HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS. FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED!

SIGN THAT DREADFUL YEAR LOOOOOOONG LEASE AYOR -
AT YOUR OWN RISK!

DAMNABLE LIES???

AN APARTMENT SHOPPER TELLS ME THEY WERE VISITING THE PROPERTY & ASKED ABOUT MY CLAIMS THEY BILLED ME $25 FOR REPLACING A SET OF BEDROOM MINI-BLINDS, WHICH WERE IN PRISTINE CONDITION, SIMPLY SO THEY COULD CHANGE THE COLOR SCHEME WAS A DAMNABLE LIE & IT NEVER HAPPENED. IS THAT RIGHT HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS? WELL I'VE GOT YOUR DAMNABLE LIES RIGHT HERE SLUMLORD.

WHAT HARPERS FOREST GHETTO MERCHANTS WON'T TELL YOU IS

....THAT THE ONLY THING BETWEEN THE LEAKING UPSTAIRS TOILET AND YOUR FLESH IS - YOU GUESSED IT - DUCT TAPE!

FORMER MAINTENANCE SUPERVISOR CONFESSES - SEWAGE LEAKS ARE PATCHED UP WITH DUCT TAPE!

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD WEAR A SLICKER NEXT TIME YOU USE YOUR BATHROOM.

PROMISES - PROMISES - PROMISES & LIES - LIES - LIES!

Harpers Forest in Columbia, Maryland offers a variety of floor plans and amenities that meet a wide range of tastes and needs. The apartment amenities range from Air Conditioning. YES IT'S TRUE THAT SOME OF OUR TENANTS HAVE GONE THE ENTIRE SUMMER SEASON WITHOUT A WORKING AIR CONDITIONER BUT THOSE TENANTS ARE VERY DEMANDING. THEY THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE THE APARTMENT WE SHOWED THEM WITH EVERYTHING IN WORKING ORDER THE DAY WE HOOD-WINKED THEM INTO SIGNING A LEASE WOULD BE THE SAME APARTMENT THEY WOULD GET. SOME PEOPLE! Controlled Access. WELL IT'S CONTROLLED BUT NOT BY US - BY THE HOODLUMS WHO SLEEP IN THE STAIRWAY AND MUG YOU AS YOU COME HOME FROM WORK ON PAY DAY. COLUMBIA, Md. (AP) - Howard County police say a Baltimore man broke into his ex-girlfriend's apartment and stabbed her current boyfriend. It happened early Sunday morning in the 5900 block of Turnabout Lane. Police say the two were in the bedroom when they heard the front door being kicked in. Courtyard. THIS MUST BE A MISPRINT. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY COURT-YARD IT'S JUST COURT. THE HOWARD COUNTY COURTHOUSE - BECAUSE IF YOU EVER REFUSE TO PAY ANY OF THE ILLEGITIMATE FEE'S WE BILL YOU FOR - LIKE THE $25.00 WE CHARGE FOR BEDROOM BLINDS - YOU CAN BE CERTAIN WE WILL HAVE YOUR BUTT IN THE COURTHOUSE. I THINK THEY DO HAVE A 'YARD' AT THE JAILHOUSE - MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THEY MEANT. IT'S NOT A MISPRINT AFTER ALL. Disability Access. WELL THE DISABLED ARE WELCOME TO ACCESS OUR BUILDINGS ANYTIME THEY WANT - BUT IF YOU MEAN SOMETHING LIKE THOSE SLANTED SIDEWALKS THAT MAKE IT EASY FOR THE DISABLED TO ROLL UP THE RAMP TO THEIR APARTMENT -NO. WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WOULD CO$T? WE SUGGEST OUR DISABLED TENANTS LEARN HOW TO ROLL OUT OF THEIR WHEELCHAIR AND THEN JUST REACH BEHIND THEM AND PULL THE CHAIR UP OVER THE CURB. NOW I'LL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT THIS NEXT STEP REQUIRES A LITTLE ANTI-GRAVITY FEAT BUT OUR DETERMINED DISABLED RESIDENTS ARE REALLY DOING QUITE WELL. I MEAN AFTER ALL NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION - RIGHT? SOME HAVE LEARNED THE HARD WAY THAT IF YOU JUST SIT THERE IN THE STREET LONG ENOUGH IT EVENTUALLY GETS DARK AND COLD AND IF YOU DON'T WANT FROSTBITE YOU JUST PROPEL YOURSELF UP INTO THAT WHEELCHAIR AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE - RIGHT? I THINK THEY CALL THAT THE MIND OVER MATTER PRINCIPLE BUT YOU KNOW THEY ARE SUCH DARLINGS TO WATCH - GOD LOVE 'EM - THEY ARE JUST SO DETERMINED TO BE JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. BUT THE MANAGEMENT STAFF HERE AT HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS GIVE THEM PLENTY OF SUPPORT. IN FACT JUST THE OTHER DAY I WAS WATCHING ONE OF OUR NEWER DISABLED RESIDENTS WHO JUST SEEMED TO DEFY THE FORCE OF GRAVITY AND LEVITATE BACK INTO HIS CHAIR. WHERE THERE'S A WILL - THERE'S A WAY - THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS SAY! I MUST ADMIT THAT THE SIGHT OF 2 MASKED GUN MEN RUNNING TOWARDS HIM WAS ALL THE MOTIVATION HE NEEDED - ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SAW ME TAKE OFF BACK TO THE SAFETY OF MY RENTAL OFFICE. SO YOU SEE - SINCE I ABANDONED HIM ON THE COLD PAVEMENT HE WAS ABLE TO FIND THE STRENGTH HE NEEDED TO SURVIVE - THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT TOUGH LOVE IS. I KNOW BECAUSE I HEARD DR. PHIL SAY SO - AND WE ALL RESPOND TO THAT - DO WE NOT? GOD LOVE 'EM. I KNOW HE MADE OUT OK BECAUSE THE NEXT MORNING I SAW HIS SHAKEY LITTLE HANDS TRYING TO SEPERATE THE SLATS IN THE BEDROOM MINI-BLINDS WE JUST $OAKED HIM ON. IN FACT HE WAS STILL SHAKING SO MUCH THAT HE COULD HARDLY KEEP THE SLATS OPEN LONG ENOUGH TO SEE IT WAS JUST LITTLE OL' ME. OF COURSE IT WAS RENT DAY AND A GOOD LANDLADY ALWAYS GETS HER RENT - DOESN'T SHE? AS YOU KNOW IT'S MY TAX DOLLARS THAT SUPPORT THOSE PEOPLE - SHOULDN'T I GET A RETURN ON MY INVESTMENT? BUT YOU KNOW BEING A SLUM...UH.. I MEAN,,,,. UH...LANDLORD IS SUCH A THANKLESS JOB. YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THESE POOR PEOPLE WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING OTHER THAN HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS. THEY'RE DOING THE BEST THEY CAN BUT THEY'RE JUST NOT LIKE THE REST OF US - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN DON'T YOU? GOT TO LOVE THEIR SPIRIT THOUGH - GOD LOVE 'EM! DEHUMANIZING - YOU SAY? NOT AT ALL. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO SAY THAT ARE TOUCHY-FEELY TYPES AND WE DON'T RENT TO THEM ANYWAY. ANYTHING WORTH HAVING IS WORTH WORKING FOR - RIGHT? IT TAKES PRACTICE BUT OUR BELOVED AND WONDERFUL DISABLED RESIDENTS HAVE LEARNED TO MANAGE. BESIDES WE CAN ALL USE A LITTLE TOUGH LOVE NOW AND THEN DON'T YOU THINK? OUR LAWYERS EVEN SAID CLAIMING Disability Access IS VERY PROFITABLE IN A PLANNED AND PROGRESSIVE COMMUNITY LIKE COLUMBIA - YOU KNOW WHAT A HOTBED OF BLEEDING HEART LIBERALS LIVE HERE - DON'T YOU? AND THEY SAY WE SHOULD INCLUDE IT IN OUR ADS BECAUSE IT MAKES US SOUND COOL LIKE THE REST OF THESE TOUCHY - FEELY TYPES. Extra Storage. YES IT'S TRUE WE HAVE SOME EXTRA STORAGE SPACE AVAILABLE FOR THOSE WHO CAN AFFORD A COUPLE EXTRA GREEN ONES TO PASS UNDER THE TABLE PLUS THERE'S A SHORT WAITING LIST BUT YOU SHOULD GET ONE BY THE TIME YOU SIGN ANOTHER LEASE. Patio or Balcony, NO NO NO. THERE ARE NO BALCONIES HERE. NEVER HAVE BEEN. NEVER WILL BE. JEEEEEEZZZ! WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR $1000 A MONTH? I MEAN WE'RE A BUSINESS. WE HAVE TO MAKE A PROFIT. THAT LEXUS OUT FRONT DIDN'T COME CHEAP! Pets Allowed. ACTUALLY THIS SHOULD READ 'PETS REQUIRED' IF YOU DON'T BRING YOUR OWN - WE WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH A COUPLE LIKE WILLARD AND PENELOPE BELOW. See photos, amenities, pet policies, property details and much more by going to -
http://harpersforestapartments.blogspot.com/
OR

where you will have instant access to the truth about the HARPERS FOREST APARTMENT COMMUNITY!

Come see what all the excitement is about at Harpers Forest Apartments! Nestled in the woods with all the conveniences of the city.

THE PROMISE OF HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS....
Come see what all the excitement is about at Harpers Forest Apartments! Nestled in the woods ('Nestled in the woods?' I don't know about you apt shoppers but that phrase 'Nestled in the woods' makes me feel like things are crawling all over me - where is Madison Avenue when you need 'em? Forget Madison Avenue - I need to find a shower!) with all the conveniences of the city.

ALL THE CONVENIENCES OF THE CITY IS RIGHT - YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THE CITY TO GET MUGGED AT GUN POINT - SOME TENANTS HAVE BEEN MUGGED JUST TAKING OUT THE
TRASH!

HARPERS FOREST SAYS -
Come see what all the excitement is about at Harpers Forest Apartments! Nestled in the woods but with all the conveniences of the city. COME SEE WHAT ALL THE EXCITEMENT IS ABOUT???
THE EXCITEMENT IS THAT YOUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR WAS JUST STABBED TO DEATH!!!

COLUMBIA, Md. (AP) - Howard County police say a Baltimore man broke into his ex-girlfriend's apartment and stabbed her current boyfriend.
It happened early Sunday morning in the 5900 block of Turnabout Lane.
Police say the two were in the bedroom when they heard the front door being kicked in. (rawmeatrob says -what a buzz kill - huh?)

Harpers Forest apartments for rent in Columbia, Maryland. View prices, photos, virtual tours, floor plans, amenities, pet policies, rent specials, ...

AT HARPERS FOREST APARTMENTS YOU'LL FIND WE HAVE THE MOST LIBERAL PET POLICIES IN COLUMBIA.
IN FACT IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY PET WE WILL PROVIDE ONE FOR YOU AT NO EXTRA CHARGE. SAY HELLO TO WILLARD! HIS FAVORITE NESTING PLACE IS A LARGE BOX OF CHEERIOS.

http://harpersforestapartments.blogspot.com/